Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, beauty is passing but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (nkjv)
shadows depend
like beauty depends
on the light and the object
on which it is cast
and when i am cast in the light
of waists the size of magazine covers,
it’s funny how my waist expands,
how the images in my mirror
change so suddenly
in the moon light of nights
of only imagined conversations,
of responses to the lines of scripts,
my beauty fades and thins
and i am surprised to see anything
of a reflection in the morning
and in the light of
“let’s just be friends”,
the light of blurred tears,
again my beauty morphs
into solid shapes,
nothing distinct,
nothing irreplaceable
in the light of solitude,
of chronic nights of no one
knocking at my door,
or a history of last dates
disguised as first,
my beauty wrinkles faster
than my wishes can catch up with
these lights,
they seem so endless
and i tire of lights
laying me on the ground
casting me in images
that may or may not be pleasing,
tired of being labeled
someone’s opposite
someone’s physical insecurity
someone’s exotica
someone’s urban
someone’s plain
someone’s model
so i’ll no longer lay down
for lights that create borders
by showing only my outline
and filling me with darkness
sonya curtis-tshuma
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